Focus on the big picture!

Hmmm.. Just did my performance appraisal at work today.. I guess I just met my boss basic expectations and must work harder on exceeding her expectations.

Definition of exceedin expectation:
- planning ahead of merchants' plans and create more business opportinities
- knowing what business strategy merchants are using so can work in tandem
- thinking beyond what is possible instead of restricting to operational issues
- alerting my boss of certain movements so she can plan ahead for the team
- not being afraid to think of ideas to share and explore

must keep all these in mind.. Cos she said..
There is no senior position for now, but when it is available, she wants to make sure I'm ready for it. :)

p.s: funny note, boss say I must use my brain more so my baby will be smart too! Haha...

cheers!

Words keep ringing...

''never fulfil duties as housewife...''

these words keep ringing in my head... Wanted very much to ask him abt it but i stopped myself.. Cos i already know the ending..

What is the definition of a housewife?
- keep the house clean (sweep,mop,etc)
- cook meals
- wash clothes
- ensure family's health

well.. To set things on the right foot..
- i never clean/mop the floor, why, it has been given the impression to me that whenever i sweep/mop, it gives the other him the idea/impression that i am not satisfied with the way he cleans the house, so i rather do it when he's not at home to avoid conflict.
- i never cook.. Why? The cooking area is filled with unneccessary stuff cluttering the area, the utensils are dusty and dirty and making the kitchen look like a back alley of bangkok.. There is an oven, but i never dare use, cos, whenever i touch something in the kitchen, he gives me face and logic that he expects me to listen when he doesn't.
- i wash my own clothes using my HANDS everyday not because i'm anal or what but the F***ing washing machine is full of dirt and that 1 occassion when i tried to change the filter, i got such a bad experience that i never want to try again.
- of cos i want my family to be healthy, but how can i do it when i don't get support. The house smells of urine at times but cannot do anything caretaker feels is normal. Do u think the patient likes the smell either? U think i feel good smelling my hse that way? The bedbug issue is another thing.. Haiz..

I really dunno what to do already.. Whatever i do is always deem as waste of money or i'm just a clean freak.

Easily irritated and easily pleased..

Hmm.. My dear was telling me that i actually have mood swings since pregnancy.. Haha.. I din realise after he mentioned it last night.. I din believe at first but reading my blog.. I guess it might be true! My mood swings along with how happy or irrtated i am...

But the funny thing is.. I can be irritated in a second and happy the very next second...
(cos he was saying how i blog abt what i don like and love abt him in just hours?)
haha... Pregnancy.. How it actually puts me on a mood-swing roller coaster...

I'm lucky in the sense that he knows that i'm going through all this and helps me along with it.. Amidst all my rantings and naggings.. He knows that i'm just de-stressing.. Haha... :)

shucks.. Even when i slept at 9.30.. I still overslept for work! Argh.. Rushing for work.. Ciao~

I'm very lucky..

Though i may complain and nag alot on pple around me, but there is this person that i must praise.. My hubby.. Jason...

Well, he is my hubby, lover, buddy, soulmate, confidant, storage card, listening ear, problem solver, minder, guardian, playmate and so much more! I've never been luckier to marry someone like him! :)

yes, i may mind a little that he's a overly-thrifty, but it's all for a good cause of saving for the rainy day or whatever that may surprise his path.. He may be quite stubborn and gets his way most of the time, but that's cause he's the king of the household clan.. Occassionally kinda wishy washy over matters but maybe that is influenced by me.. :p

Other than that, he is very VERY or should i say, overly responsible for people and stuff around him and takes very good care of me!

He helps me change the bedsheets, kill those irritating bugs and sends me to mrt! :)

I LOVE JASON LEE! :)

Don understand..

I seriously don understand how..
- a daughter can ignore her mother when she is bedridden..
- how a sister can ignore her younger sister's safety..
- how a mother can ignore her child's well being and environment..
- how a wife can ignore her husband's behaviour..
- how a boss can ignore an employee's welfare..
- how tyrant and stubborn a person can be..

I'm speechless...
All I can do is pray for people around her to be safe and sound..

I feel so tired...

I just came back from a holiday but it feels as though i been to in-camp training of non stop walking and malnutritition... It's like a sin to rest/sit, a sin to eat good food, or even to have a proper meal..

I'm now a 4 mth pregnant lady.. And i'm easily agitated and hungry mind you.. I never cried my entire life in a shopping centre just cos i'm so tired and hungry...

People tell me that a pregnant lady should never be hungry ... But i'm constantly not feeling good nor full.. I dunno what to say.. Even when i work in office or rush for meetings.. I never felt so tired.. Not that i'm asking for lotsa food or that i eat like a pig.. But just a proper meal..

What u are trying to do/help others is not appreciated when it is not what they want...
Just like what others do was trying to make u happy but instead got scolding from u..

Now that i'm back home, i tot i could finally have a good rest.. But i am so wrong.. Now is 5.13am.. And i bloodly awake cos I'm constantly irritated/bitten by bedbugs.. And i'm hungry.. Again.. :(

tears just keep rolling that i dunno what i should do or could do... I suddenly miss my bb home alot...